Be the friend your circle feels safe outshining

To relationships where your light feels safe.

Not many people will get this, but I truly believe that a big flex when it comes to relationships, is to be a friend your people feel safe outshining.

How does that even land in your body? To be someone others feel safe outshining… Does it make you cringe? Does it activate your pride?

When the idea to write about this came up, I have to admit that the thought of having people feel safe outshining me, felt odd to say the least.

I noticed that my ego got somewhat activated. That’s usually a sign I need to sit with it a bit longer. So I did.

It brought forth a bit of my competitive nature.

You may ask yourself, is that supposed to be a good thing… to have other people outshining you? I asked myself the same.

Well, let’s go to the opposite for a second.

If people you love most do not feel safe outshining you, then how would they behave around you?

My guess is that they would dim their light in your presence. They wouldn’t share with you the most meaningful wins in their lives.

This is someone I don’t want to be for people I claim to love.

I mean, do you really want to be one of the reasons why someone you care about needs to wear an evil-eye protection bracelet? I surely don’t.

I also understand that at the level of the soul, there is no such thing as “outshining” each other. Yet at the level of the human, I think it’s fair to admit that we can sometimes lose ourselves in comparisons that can hijack connection.

The main questions is this…

Do you trust that your light is safe within all your relationships?

Also, let’s flip the question. Are you a safe space for the light of the people in your life?

Can you truly nurture it? Can you encourage even when you don’t feel like you’re on top of your own game? Maybe even especially then?

Sometimes I am under the impression lately that we have created a sub culture where it feels unsafe to share your light, even in your closest relationships.

We’ve become way more comfortable at sharing our struggles. And I understand that this too needs to have appropriate room.

With that said, some people have shared with me in facilitation that the relationships around them are more comfortable with the version of them that struggles… more than they are with the version that thrives.

Is that something you can relate to?

This is a paradigm I wish we can evolve from.

I believe at the core there is the part of us that can often feel like our worth is threatened when we are under the impression that someone is doing better that we are.

Or the version of self love that says: “I only feel worthy of love when I am doing better that people around me.”

This is something that can even come from our upbringing.

Is it something wrong? No. I see it as something we need to outgrow.

I want to be a friend who welcomes both the vulnerabilities and brightness of people I care about.

I want my energy alone to feel like an evil eye protection for people I care about because of how much I want to see them win.

I want people who feel inspired by my work to put work in the world that goes deeper and further than I could even dream of.

I want to be the friend my people feel safe outshining.

How is this sitting with you? Share below.