Divine self sabotage

When your soul won't take "no" for an answer

Sometimes what looks like self sabotage is a divine intervention designed to reroute you away from “shiny objects” that do not align with your path, so that you may surrender to what your heart craves. That’s divine self sabotage.

We live in a world full of shiny objects. Some of them, can masquerade as your purpose.

Some of them can look so appealing, and are so culturally glorified, that you may think it’s what you are meant to do.

These shiny objects are usually endeavors you think you should pursue for reasons that deep down do not fully resonate with your essence.

I call them golden distractions. They come close to what you think you’d want, but they do not quite hit the mark.

And when it feels like you are not doing everything in your power to turn them into your reality, you may even accuse yourself of self sabotage.

Does any of it resonate?

Everything that looks golden is not made of gold

Not all shiny objects that attract you are meant for you.

Not all of them are aligned with your energetic blueprint.

I’d even go as far as saying that some of them might take you on a loop of many years where you lose track of what truly matters to you.

I’ve had a few golden distractions of my own.

And when I look back, I wouldn’t change any of it, even I can recognize that many of them were a form of avoidance of my calling.

They were all opportunities to sharpen my intuition and discernment, and to recalibrate with what I deeply value.

When in 2017 we had a gym in Montreal for example, I could hardly bring myself to do some of the things I knew would help the business grow.

Back then there was great guilt that was coming up because of the feeling that I was sabotaging a project in which we had invested a great deal of time and financial resources.

Eventually in 2018 we decided to shut it all down.

Divine Self Sabotage

Sometimes what looks like self sabotage is a divine intervention designed to reroute you away from “shiny objects” that do not align with your path. That’s divine self sabotage.

What is divine self sabotage? It’s what sometimes happens when your soul will no longer take no for an answer.

It’s what happens when the energy you put towards your shiny distractions, is needed some place else.

It’s what happens when you need to make room, not for something necessarily bigger, but for something more aligned.

The problem is that some of our shiny distractions are things we think we “should” be doing.

I thought I should’ve kept trying to make the gym successful, whereas I was obsessed with integration, illuminating the shadow and the healing arts.

When I was going through the motions of withdrawing from my Ph.D. over 10 years ago, I thought I should’ve tried harder, whereas I was obsessed with studying what it takes to embody true self liberation.

I even felt great guilt because I couldn’t bring myself to continue with the Ph.D. or growing the gym. I thought I was “sabotaging”

How paradoxical it is that sometimes what looks like self sabotage is the realignment…

This is what it was for me.

How do you discern?

The natural question is how do you discern between divine self sabotage (which is your soul attempting to reroute you) and what we commonly know as self sabotage (which is shadow material stepping in the way of what you want)?

Here is a personal rule of thumb I’ve been using.

Divine self sabotage is your soul attempting to pull you away from a shiny pursuit you’ve been conditioned to think you should embrace, to a pursuit that terrifies you but that deeply aligns with your heart.

Why does it feel like self sabotage? Because you’ve been conditioned to believe that the shiny pursuit (that doesn’t fully align with your heart) is what you should want. In a sense, it feels like you are going against your own intention.

Divine self sabotage is the intention of your soul overpowering the intention of you ego.

As soon as I become aware that there might be some divine self sabotage at play, I know that the path forward for me is to surrender.

Have you experienced something similar? Please share your thoughts below.

PS: The doors to my last immersion of the year INTEGRATE, will open soon. This will be the 7th cohort. That journey is arguably one of the most liberating experiences I’ve crafted. More on this soon.

As always, thank you for reading.

In gratitude and reverence,

— Xavier