Healing your attachment style to your light

Entering your era of unapologetic expression.

I have a fascination with all the ways we relate to our light. And there is a specific angle I like to observe it through.

We talk a lot about attachment in relationships. All the ways we bond, how we protect ourselves, how we respond to closeness, etc.

But very few people consider that we also have a specific attachment style with our own brightness. Or at the very least, this is a lens I find very illuminating.

Just like in relationships, your attachment to your light was shaped by past experiences, moments of shame, dismissal, celebration, and moments when your radiance couldn’t be nurtured by people who witnessed it.

And over time, you may have learned to approach your own brightness the way a child approaches fire. With deep fascination, but cautiousness. As if you were looking for warmth and at the same time too afraid of being burned.

For many of us, this creates an attachment pattern to our light that is far from secure.

It becomes the root of self-sabotage, what fuels imposter syndrome, the tension you feel before you share something true, or the inner contraction that happens when your life invites you to take up more space.

When your attachment to your light is dysfunctional, it doesn’t matter how much potential you have, your nervous system treats your gifts as a threat.

Let’s illuminate this for a moment.

Your Attachment Style With Your Light

Here’s what applying attachment theory to your relationship with your brightness could look like to me:

Anxious attachment to your light

You overwork and try to over-prove. You wait for validation before trusting your own brilliance. Your gifts only feel real when someone else confirms them.

Avoidant attachment to your light

You minimize and downplay your gifts. Sometimes you even deny their existence. You stay small because expansion feels dangerous. You convince yourself that dimming is “humble,” “practical,” or “safer.” You use every rationalization you can think of to justify not expressing your gifts.

Disorganized attachment to your light

You crave expression and fear it at the same time. You feel the pull to shine and the reflex to withdraw. You have cycles of momentum followed by collapse. Your light feels like both a calling and a threat.

Secure attachment to your light

You trust your voice and own your gifts. You let yourself be seen without bracing for impact. Expression feels like home rather than a battleground. You allow yourself to express your gifts imperfectly. And instead of shutting down your light after challenging moments, you are better at returning to it over and over again.

Of course, this isn’t about labeling you. It’s about giving you language for the very real relationship you have with your own brightness.

The question is: Where do you currently stand? What “attachment style” feels the most familiar with your light at the moment?

One of the most important relationships in your life

When we don’t have a healthy relationship with our light, we abandon it to some extent.

In my experience, this is the most painful form of self abandonment.

And to me, one of the most important aspects of the work of self liberation is to create a healthy relationship to your light.

Doing that has created one of the single most important shifts in the way I bring my work to the world.

I shifted from having an avoidant relationship with my light, and from feeling like expressing it came with too much risk, to a place where it comes more naturally.

Doing this work isn’t about forcing yourself to be louder. That would be unsustainable.

It’s about healing the inner patterns that made you believe your light was unsafe. It is somatic, psychospiritual, relational, and even ancestral.

It requires meeting the shadows that shaped your attachment style with your light:

• the moments your brilliance was mocked, misunderstood, or dismissed

• the parts of you that learned to survive by shrinking

• the body memories that still brace every time you get close to your truth

This is the work we do inside The Embodied Light Project.

We heal the fractures between you and your brightness. We reclaim the power that was lost in your conditioning. We create a secure foundation between you and your light so that you can unleash your expression in your life and purpose.

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Your black Friday invitation (Doors close in a little over 24h)

Inside ELP, you receive:

• Monthly teachings that deepen your relationship to your soul and illuminate your shadow.

• Devotional practices that help you anchor insight into embodiment.

• Somatic and shadow integration work to dissolve sabotage patterns.

• Community support that holds you through expansion and resistance.

• Live sessions where we bring your truth from potential into expression.

• A library of processes, journeys, and teachings you can return to anytime.

This is the space where you learn to become the leader your light deserves.

And because it is Black Friday, I want to offer you one of our biggest savings.

For the next few days the yearly ELP membership is 35% off, and this saving becomes yours for life. Doors close soon!

→ Join The Embodied Light Project HERE.
In gratitude and reverence,
Xavier