The identity upgrade no one warned you about
Why your nervous system resists the very life you’re ready for
There is a moment many people don’t talk about. A moment where, despite how much inner work you’ve done you feel more stuck than you have in a long time. It may even feel like you’ve been regressing.
I often call it the dissonance between your inner experience and outer reality.
You know more and you’ve faced yourself in ways most people never will. And yet, showing up in ways that are you deeply desire feels riskier and maybe even more vulnerable than before.
Does any of this sound familiar?
If yes, odds are you’re standing at a threshold.
I like to think of a threshold as a shift your soul is inviting you to go through that requires an identity upgrade. Or at the very least a deep shift in the way you see yourself.
At thresholds, protection mechanisms have a tendency to flare up, even though you’ve done a great deal of inner work. Your nervous system tends to respond with more caution.
This happens especially when the next step asks you to:
be more visible
be more open hearted and real
expressed express more of your gifts
claim desires that deep down you still feel unworthy of receiving
This is why, paradoxically, some people feel more stuck than ever right before they’re meant to expand.
This is not because they’re failing in any way, but mostly because the identity they’ve been operating from can no longer hold what life is asking of them.
Can you relate?
This is where my own “divine” frustration (as I like to call it) lives.
It’s painful to watch bright souls repress their radiance… to see healers, creatives, and leaders with real medicine settle for being the best kept secret.
That frustration is also a great source of devotion for me. In a way, it has been a great source of fuel for me this year.
This year was a threshold year for me
One where I stopped carrying half-hearted commitments and claimed many things my soul had been asking for… sometimes out loud.
I wrote the book (Scars of Gold) and put it into the world. My wife Renee and I chose to consecrate our union the way we always knew we would, after 11 years and 3 kids together. I allowed myself to lead more fully, more honestly, more visibly than I’ve done in years.
None of that came from forcing confidence. It came from allowing an identity upgrade to take place.
And if that speaks to you, I want to support you through the identity upgrade you need to embrace what your soul has in store for you.
Identity upgrades are not mindset shifts. They require many trips into the shadow, and a spiritual, somatic and nervous system upgrade.
They ask you to become someone who can hold the impact you’re meant to have without closing your heart or fragmenting yourself. Lately the phrase I have been using is: becoming the leader your light and your mission deserve.
This is the work beneath the work.
As this year comes to a close, I’m opening 3 spots for private 1:1 containers with people who feel this edge.
I designed them to help you take your voice, your mission and your impact out of the shadow.
If you feel this threshold in your body, if something in you knows it’s time to stop dimming, hiding, or postponing then reply to this email with “PRIVATE” and let’s talk.
**PS: I also want to wish you the most beautiful and rejuvenating holiday season.
In gratitude and reverence,
Xavier
private
Couldn’t agree more 🩷