I agree that we are taught to push joy away. We are also taught that it is something we have to earn, that there are moments we are allowed to celebrate - like our birthdays and holidays, but also even like getting married or accomplishing a goal like writing a book (and please don’t get me wrong - those are absolutely things we should celebrate and feel joyful about, but not the only things).
I had a lot of chronic health issues several years ago, and with experimentation I have learned, that I am healthy, strong and full of life when I am pursuing my passions (all of them - even the ones I am not good at), when I am exploring my gifts and talents (again, all of them, not just the ones that can make money), when I surround myself with people who allow me to be all of myself and reflect back to me my light more than focus on my flaws - which usually translates to being more joyful together. The more joy I allow into my life, the more amazingly magical my life has become in ways I didn’t think were possible. The more loved, and valued and respected I feel just for being me. And the more I feel pulled to do, and am able to do.
Part of living in a world that has taught us to exist in survival mode is that we cannot thrive there. Simultaneously, to fit into the very unhealthy model of what society tells us is ‘normal’ is to be accepted on a large scale. We have to, at some point, make the very, very scary decision to thrive first and trust that everything else will fall into place, that we will be cared and provided for and that the right people, those who want nothing more for us than to have joy, will be magnetized to us.
Thank both of you for another treasured reflection. OK so somehow it reminds me of children if one cries, another cries, especially the littlest kids. That’s been a big cry, huge tears of confusion, fear, especially the unknown. I was very sad to hear the cancellation was when your life was beaming with light. I’m not sure the point of this. I’m never quite sure actually, but it makes me aware to escalate joy, look for joy, create joy, and smile at everyone. Is this mine the thickness of it is not mine. The biggest of it for me is to smile.
WOW. What a meaningful and beautiful post. I couldn't agree more. Thanks so much for writing this and for sharing your wisdom with us all!
I agree that we are taught to push joy away. We are also taught that it is something we have to earn, that there are moments we are allowed to celebrate - like our birthdays and holidays, but also even like getting married or accomplishing a goal like writing a book (and please don’t get me wrong - those are absolutely things we should celebrate and feel joyful about, but not the only things).
I had a lot of chronic health issues several years ago, and with experimentation I have learned, that I am healthy, strong and full of life when I am pursuing my passions (all of them - even the ones I am not good at), when I am exploring my gifts and talents (again, all of them, not just the ones that can make money), when I surround myself with people who allow me to be all of myself and reflect back to me my light more than focus on my flaws - which usually translates to being more joyful together. The more joy I allow into my life, the more amazingly magical my life has become in ways I didn’t think were possible. The more loved, and valued and respected I feel just for being me. And the more I feel pulled to do, and am able to do.
Part of living in a world that has taught us to exist in survival mode is that we cannot thrive there. Simultaneously, to fit into the very unhealthy model of what society tells us is ‘normal’ is to be accepted on a large scale. We have to, at some point, make the very, very scary decision to thrive first and trust that everything else will fall into place, that we will be cared and provided for and that the right people, those who want nothing more for us than to have joy, will be magnetized to us.
You had me at "thrive first".
I'm off to scrawl that in a notebook - thanks!
So happy to hear that it resonated.
Mary Oliver had it right: joy isn't meant to be a crumb.
I like to think cringe culture would alarm her. Our energy & time being finite things, why choose the things that deplete?
Thanks for the reminder that we're a genetic fluke on a rock that's not so happy with how we've been treating it.
What a gift
Saint John of the cross describes the Dark night of the Soul. I feel this on the collective.
Thank both of you for another treasured reflection. OK so somehow it reminds me of children if one cries, another cries, especially the littlest kids. That’s been a big cry, huge tears of confusion, fear, especially the unknown. I was very sad to hear the cancellation was when your life was beaming with light. I’m not sure the point of this. I’m never quite sure actually, but it makes me aware to escalate joy, look for joy, create joy, and smile at everyone. Is this mine the thickness of it is not mine. The biggest of it for me is to smile.