When life forces you into surrender

On losing control, trusting life and letting your intuition be your teacher

Feb 09, 2026

There are many moments in my life where I felt forced into surrender by life itself.

One of them was in 2016, nearly 10 years ago. My wife Renee (girlfriend at the time) and I were living in an apartment we shared with another couple.

Living in that apartment alone already felt like I was disregarding my intuition to a point.

Few months into that experience, I start developing weird asthma symptoms. Everything in my life at that time screamed misalignment.

What was happening in parallel was that at that time we had decided to invest all our savings into starting our own gym venture.

Deep down I knew it wasn’t it. But I did not listen.

Sometimes it felt like my body had become too small for the emotions I was running from… And that the lies I was telling myself were causing me to hold my breath unconsciously.

During one night at that place, I had what I would consider my first asthma attack.

I had never experienced it before, so it probably felt more acute than it was, and my anxiety added to the mix did not help.

I had no prescription for asthma and went to the nearest pharmacy, where they refused to sell me any medication without it.

I mean, I expected that. I was just too desperate.

The pharmacist looked at me checked my breathing a bit, and probably concluded that I was more scared than anything else.

When I got back home, I sat down and started having a talk with my body and with God.

The essence of the conversation was this:

“Dear God, I know I am in deep resistance and avoidance of truth. I know I am too scared to look, and too afraid of how it may change me. Help me harness the courage to face it. Help me stay in my body. I give permission to be an instrument of truth.”

I might have said different words, but that was the essence. I remember that moment clearly because after wording this many times and releasing the need to fight myself, I started to relax.

My breathing calmed a bit, just enough to go to sleep around 4am.

Here is why I am sharing this story with you…

Sometimes life will force you into surrender in ways you need to but don’t want to.

That was my experience.

This is also just one of the themes of the most recent conversation on the Enheartened podcast. This is one you’ll want to tune into.

This week on ENHEARTENED.

This week on the Enheartened podcast, I’m joined by Erin Gunzelman, a former U.S. intelligence analyst whose life took an unexpected turn when control was no longer possible.

In this conversation, we explore what happens when the strategies that once worked stop working… when the body says no, certainty dissolves, and surrender becomes unavoidable. Erin shares how chronic illness and collapse forced a deeper reckoning with truth, trust, and letting life lead.

In this episode, you’ll explore: