I am about to start these questions. Already reading through them and I can feel the tears surfacing (I rarely cry, so this is hitting deep) and I can feel a shift. I'm thinking of people to share this with who also want to unleash themselves. All right, I'm going to start the questions now. Thank you so much!
This was a scary day for me. I was already feeling tired and when I'm tired my resentment comes up about my caring role, for two people. A partner with significant disabilities and a relative who's 85 and getting very forgetful. Ever since I was a little girl and now I'm nearly 70, I got love by caring. With an addicted high functioning over achieving father and a narcissistic mother, I only got attention when ill, so I became a delinquent because it got some attention, but I also became a compulsive carer of sick animals, and later boyfriends and later still, became a special Ed teacher. I'm.still caring for two people as I said and today's prompt brought up, would I still be loved if I stopped being a carer? It felt like an earthquake in my chest even thinking that thought. Could I give myself permission to be cared for? I need to give myself permission to ask for care when I need it, and taking more time to look after me.
Something I was already aware of, yet a whole new layer came to the surface
So helpful that you are sharing this on Substack
For some reason, the live engagement "only available this week" makes it a lot more exciting for me to pay attention and actually commit to going through with it (because sometimes the overwhelm of the day can make me feel like i want to escape, rather than dig deep) but this method adds a fun aspect for me that is vital now in my journey
I am about to start these questions. Already reading through them and I can feel the tears surfacing (I rarely cry, so this is hitting deep) and I can feel a shift. I'm thinking of people to share this with who also want to unleash themselves. All right, I'm going to start the questions now. Thank you so much!
This was a scary day for me. I was already feeling tired and when I'm tired my resentment comes up about my caring role, for two people. A partner with significant disabilities and a relative who's 85 and getting very forgetful. Ever since I was a little girl and now I'm nearly 70, I got love by caring. With an addicted high functioning over achieving father and a narcissistic mother, I only got attention when ill, so I became a delinquent because it got some attention, but I also became a compulsive carer of sick animals, and later boyfriends and later still, became a special Ed teacher. I'm.still caring for two people as I said and today's prompt brought up, would I still be loved if I stopped being a carer? It felt like an earthquake in my chest even thinking that thought. Could I give myself permission to be cared for? I need to give myself permission to ask for care when I need it, and taking more time to look after me.
Wow! Thank you so much for this!
it saved my day
What came up blew my mind!
Something I was already aware of, yet a whole new layer came to the surface
So helpful that you are sharing this on Substack
For some reason, the live engagement "only available this week" makes it a lot more exciting for me to pay attention and actually commit to going through with it (because sometimes the overwhelm of the day can make me feel like i want to escape, rather than dig deep) but this method adds a fun aspect for me that is vital now in my journey