This was very revealing. I've been stuck in a loop of procrastination, self sabotage, and criticizing myself for not getting things done, and I was able to connect with a younger part of me that just needed patience, encouragement and the permission to make a mistake without consequences. To be told "You've got this" and not to give up so easily. It feels as though I was always in a bubble in my mind with no one guiding or encouraging me when I needed guidance and encouragement. Feeling all of this deeply. Appreciating the surfacing and the clarity it is already bringing into patterns of thinking I aim to rewrite. Thank you. And it's just day 1!
Oh man, I feel this so much for myself in certain ways (like wanting someone to sit with me through my emotions, or as I learn/implement better life skills that weren’t taught to me growing up), & also in relation to the kids I work with. Some of them are practically abandoned to just figure out things as if they should already know. It makes me so sad. I am only meant to work with 1 kid but I do my best to develop a loving relationship with the whole class. This helps me remember the impact I’m having, even though I wish I could do more. (This is the same comment I left on another post but both feel very similar & I think I initially meant to put it in reply here, hah.)
I am afraid to love deeply…I DO love deeply but I “stop” myself. This morning I remember my fathers ‘dying words to me. I asked him, “why are we here?” His answer, which he said while taking off his oxygen mask, was, “to love, and don’t hold back.”
I see you. What would it look like to engage the part of you that is afraid to love deeply? What does that fear of love is pointing at? What emotional unfinished business that part of you is pointing at? Also how open is your heart to the part of you that is afraid to love? What needs does that part of you have? Just a few questions to deepen the exploration.
This is so timely and incredibly helpful. What came up is the absolute feeling of panic and overwhelm from the time period in 2021-now while leaving an abusive marriage (which involved having to leave my 5 young kids for period of time), and navigating recovery from that while building financial independence before buying a house and starting to single parent while still in the throes of PTSD - all done with almost no outside support.
I’ve been so busy surviving and providing I haven’t yet had the resources to sit with how terrifying and painful and overwhelming the experience was. Thank you so much for this clarity!
This was amazing! Both aspects of myself from my youth and from my childhood emerged letting me know they felt alone and scared and could have used more guidance and someone to sit beside them, helping them do schoolwork that felt too hard and overwhelming. That they wanted to bring forward joy and curiosity in connection with others while learning and growing. They both feel safer and more listened to within me, straight away! I look forward to the coming videos. 😍🙏
Oh man, I feel this so much for myself in certain ways (like wanting someone to sit with me through my emotions, or as I learn/implement better life skills that weren’t taught to me growing up), & also in relation to the kids I work with. Some of them are practically abandoned to just figure out things as if they should already know. It makes me so sad. I am only meant to work with 1 kid but I do my best to develop a loving relationship with the whole class. This helps me remember the impact I’m having, even though I wish I could do more.
If I ask myself if im stuck my answer is no, but I feel the things I wish for aren't coming to me, and that I should be somewhere else than where I am career wise, financially and romantic relations.
The timing of this video shocked me. After a few days of discovering this repressed part of mine, I was feeling grieved today once again that I'm unable to accept it fully yet. For the past few days I have tried gentle somatic movements, dancing and time out in the Sun or in nature in general.. journaling etc. it all helped I was joyous. But today, I realized it could be another masked attempt to run from this 'shadow' so I collapsed (relapsed?). Then your email appeared with the words 'unfinished business'. And here I am, certain that I am not addressing it and accepting it..
Wow, this was very profound for me! The deepening of the prompts was felt to where I was able to go as far as I needed with the visualization. Usually visualization can be a challenge for me, my mind will think of so many things at once. Here I saw clearly an adolescent version of me that was a bloody rag doll with barely a pulse and I bathed her in a warm spring, tended the wounds and then placed a clean light inside of every chakra center healing each area, every time I felt a woosh of energy through me and released a lot of grief. Sometimes my mind would jump ahead to who I could help by doing this with them and I had to slow down again and was able to continue tending to myself. At the heart there was a lot of confusion of what was mine and what was others pain. The throat was very ceremonial with some vocal Toning like giving myself an sacred initiation that I would have wanted around the age of 12. Lots clearing until my entire energy body felt integrated and energized. I had a shining girl in a clean white tunic hugging me by the end of the visualization and cleared a lot around “expression is not safe” that was the stuckness. Thank you Xavier, I found your work recently and you hold a very powerful space! Appreciate you very much!! Carly
Wow I can really relate to that almost automatic thought of how to turn self-healing around to offer others. I used to do that constantly & I had a really hard time appreciating these processes just for myself. I love that you were able to slow down & continue tending to yourself. I hope you continue to find the right balance & presence for your journey.
Visualization comes easily to me. I met a police officer, hectically trying to advise the crowd coming by to not look at the spot of a murder, a brutal crime. The pain and cries of the victim still lingering in the air, although the victim died.
The victim wants to be acknowledged and witnessed. And some candles in a church/place of divine contact.
The police officer doesnt want the situation to escalate. If the crowd should turn towards the crime they would be swept away by their rage and would lynch the first person slightly resembling the perpetrator. The police officer wants the situation to stay managable and nobody to be lynched. Quiet is needed to do the investigations.
What is it that I didnt have back then and how would it look like to give that to myself now? Help. To not be alone. Today I asked a friend if she would be my witness through these five days and receive what I might draw and write (which is more than these sentences here). I am fortunate she said yes!
The timing of this is perfect 🌷 I kept hitting my head against a wall for not knowing where to go next and through this practice with you have seen how far outside of myself I was looking for answers. Thank you for calling me in, and guiding in this process 🙏 This was a very powerful session and I'm grateful for this space you've created for us all Xavier
Well, this was an unexpected gift-thank you! I received your email this morning & I had just been saying last night that I am feeling stuck. I access a lot of inner emotions & work through processes like the prompts you gave us today, but I’ve never even thought to greet my stuckness. An immediate wave of anger filled me as I curiously met my stuck selves. They expressed not having a sense of belonging, feeling abandoned 1st by my brothers who cast me aside when I was excited to share new ideas and bring joy into our lives in shared creative acts. I realized that’s why I thrived in corporate America, even though it sucked there was a sense of belonging & everyone excited about new ideas & bringing them to fruition as a team. Showed me how I always help my romantic partners fulfill their dreams, without it being reciprocated, in hopes I’ll belong. My stuckness showed me how I long to belong. How I long to share my beautiful gifts. How I long to serve with a joyful heart & belong to other folks who are similar.
Thankyou so much for this Xavier. Up came a childhood when I was only given attention if I was sick. My stuckness relates to illness and not loving myself in all states of being. Very powerful
Every time I feel stuck, I’d rather push through, take control, find solutions and ways to change my situation. I feel anger, frustration, resentment. It’s tight in my body, can’t breathe or move. I do everything I can not to feel powerless.
Going back in the past, I was a child. I didn’t have a voice, or safety enough to express my truth, my choice, my desires, I repressed everything in order to make my family comfortable.
This part needs me to know that it doesn’t have to be hard, that I’m safe now but I need to create that safety with feelings rather than actions, by trusting that I always have a choice. I don’t need to prove it to myself it’s just a fact. That would make room because instead of powering through I could trust and surrender. If I considered this a given more than a challenge. If I truly knew it was available to me.
Thank you for sharing this. Your insights are always so helpful and spark “aha” moments.
What if the stuckness comes from feeling torn between two (or more) “parts?” That seems to be the source of inner tension.
There’s a situation (with a somatic therapist) that’s been contributing to feelings of stuckness. The back and forth about whether to leave or stay can be confusing.
It seems (the stuckness) comes from (perceived) limbo and feeling disconnected from my internal compass/intuition.
The stuckness expresses itself in dissociation around eyes and throat. I go faster with everyday things. I don’t contact the dentist, although my body is twisted and feels like it might break in some point in the neck and that gets exposed to all the pressure. My pelvic floor is very open by the twist through my body. My shoulders are stiff. The eyes have very blurry eyesight, which is not normal for me. I distract myself with cell phone, thinking, doubting and doing anything else but contacting.
Tuning in to this I feel a holding pattern in the central line. Noticing “offness”. A teenage part? Thoughts about people. Thinking that I am not enough.
A moment in the past is when I went alone to the dentist at about nine or 10 years old. Many times and I forgot many of the appointments. I remember us particular place where I walked to the dentist. I see it from above, like I am dissociated.
What I needed back then that I didn’t have was a guide . Or more guides. Also understanding about how fears function, as well as mistakes being a normal human experience.
Today it will look like this for me: I support myself physically, helping myself release what I can. I start to act to receive help and guidance from anyone or anything that is appropriate for me at this time. I allow and hold the fear that will move through me in this process.
I tear up even by writing this. If I invite this part of me completely into my heart I feel warmth and relief streaming outwards in my body, into my feet and hands.
Thank you for this video. It helped with the extra connection. The same part finds it scary to write here, so I will help it see that we can be okay whatever happens ❤️
I wish more people realized how POWERFUL an intention can be,
(especially when it’s coupled with a little bit of effort: to bring about what we wish for, by taking just the next step)
Just me having made this intention when I saw your video about this challenge, that I wish to unleash my light, brought about in a wonderful unexpected way a free session with an incredible healer today @TkHolistic who helped me wash away attachment to suffering that was so embedded in my being & was the hindrance to my life force that would help me bring about the book I wish to birth. She also helped me connect with my ancestors in a beautiful new way instead of the shame I had carried from persecution.
Then i had a wonderful session that turned out WAY better than i could have dreamed- with Dr. Jaiya John - poet, author and healer, who helped me with priceless guidance on how i can be a better doula and help myself birth this book and bring it to life 💗 I gained tremendous insight on how I can gift myself and everyone around me with joy, and give myself the battery i was missing. It was incredibly nurturing and life-giving.
And I’m so grateful to you for providing the container for me, not just with this challenge, but also ELP has been my life source since 2020 and now being part of your Integrate program is helping me have tremendously beautiful shifts that I had not had before 💗🙏
This was very revealing. I've been stuck in a loop of procrastination, self sabotage, and criticizing myself for not getting things done, and I was able to connect with a younger part of me that just needed patience, encouragement and the permission to make a mistake without consequences. To be told "You've got this" and not to give up so easily. It feels as though I was always in a bubble in my mind with no one guiding or encouraging me when I needed guidance and encouragement. Feeling all of this deeply. Appreciating the surfacing and the clarity it is already bringing into patterns of thinking I aim to rewrite. Thank you. And it's just day 1!
Such a potent share. Thank you for engaging with the work. I am looking forward to seeing what emerges for you the following days 🙏🏾
Oh man, I feel this so much for myself in certain ways (like wanting someone to sit with me through my emotions, or as I learn/implement better life skills that weren’t taught to me growing up), & also in relation to the kids I work with. Some of them are practically abandoned to just figure out things as if they should already know. It makes me so sad. I am only meant to work with 1 kid but I do my best to develop a loving relationship with the whole class. This helps me remember the impact I’m having, even though I wish I could do more. (This is the same comment I left on another post but both feel very similar & I think I initially meant to put it in reply here, hah.)
I am afraid to love deeply…I DO love deeply but I “stop” myself. This morning I remember my fathers ‘dying words to me. I asked him, “why are we here?” His answer, which he said while taking off his oxygen mask, was, “to love, and don’t hold back.”
I see you. What would it look like to engage the part of you that is afraid to love deeply? What does that fear of love is pointing at? What emotional unfinished business that part of you is pointing at? Also how open is your heart to the part of you that is afraid to love? What needs does that part of you have? Just a few questions to deepen the exploration.
This is so timely and incredibly helpful. What came up is the absolute feeling of panic and overwhelm from the time period in 2021-now while leaving an abusive marriage (which involved having to leave my 5 young kids for period of time), and navigating recovery from that while building financial independence before buying a house and starting to single parent while still in the throes of PTSD - all done with almost no outside support.
I’ve been so busy surviving and providing I haven’t yet had the resources to sit with how terrifying and painful and overwhelming the experience was. Thank you so much for this clarity!
Sending you love. You are so strong 🙏
This was amazing! Both aspects of myself from my youth and from my childhood emerged letting me know they felt alone and scared and could have used more guidance and someone to sit beside them, helping them do schoolwork that felt too hard and overwhelming. That they wanted to bring forward joy and curiosity in connection with others while learning and growing. They both feel safer and more listened to within me, straight away! I look forward to the coming videos. 😍🙏
This is great. Thank you for sharing ❣️
Oh man, I feel this so much for myself in certain ways (like wanting someone to sit with me through my emotions, or as I learn/implement better life skills that weren’t taught to me growing up), & also in relation to the kids I work with. Some of them are practically abandoned to just figure out things as if they should already know. It makes me so sad. I am only meant to work with 1 kid but I do my best to develop a loving relationship with the whole class. This helps me remember the impact I’m having, even though I wish I could do more.
If I ask myself if im stuck my answer is no, but I feel the things I wish for aren't coming to me, and that I should be somewhere else than where I am career wise, financially and romantic relations.
The timing of this video shocked me. After a few days of discovering this repressed part of mine, I was feeling grieved today once again that I'm unable to accept it fully yet. For the past few days I have tried gentle somatic movements, dancing and time out in the Sun or in nature in general.. journaling etc. it all helped I was joyous. But today, I realized it could be another masked attempt to run from this 'shadow' so I collapsed (relapsed?). Then your email appeared with the words 'unfinished business'. And here I am, certain that I am not addressing it and accepting it..
I see you. I hope this journey helps you cultivate deeper reconciliation with that aspect of yourself
Wow, this was very profound for me! The deepening of the prompts was felt to where I was able to go as far as I needed with the visualization. Usually visualization can be a challenge for me, my mind will think of so many things at once. Here I saw clearly an adolescent version of me that was a bloody rag doll with barely a pulse and I bathed her in a warm spring, tended the wounds and then placed a clean light inside of every chakra center healing each area, every time I felt a woosh of energy through me and released a lot of grief. Sometimes my mind would jump ahead to who I could help by doing this with them and I had to slow down again and was able to continue tending to myself. At the heart there was a lot of confusion of what was mine and what was others pain. The throat was very ceremonial with some vocal Toning like giving myself an sacred initiation that I would have wanted around the age of 12. Lots clearing until my entire energy body felt integrated and energized. I had a shining girl in a clean white tunic hugging me by the end of the visualization and cleared a lot around “expression is not safe” that was the stuckness. Thank you Xavier, I found your work recently and you hold a very powerful space! Appreciate you very much!! Carly
Wow I can really relate to that almost automatic thought of how to turn self-healing around to offer others. I used to do that constantly & I had a really hard time appreciating these processes just for myself. I love that you were able to slow down & continue tending to yourself. I hope you continue to find the right balance & presence for your journey.
As my field of stuckness I chose sexuality.
Visualization comes easily to me. I met a police officer, hectically trying to advise the crowd coming by to not look at the spot of a murder, a brutal crime. The pain and cries of the victim still lingering in the air, although the victim died.
The victim wants to be acknowledged and witnessed. And some candles in a church/place of divine contact.
The police officer doesnt want the situation to escalate. If the crowd should turn towards the crime they would be swept away by their rage and would lynch the first person slightly resembling the perpetrator. The police officer wants the situation to stay managable and nobody to be lynched. Quiet is needed to do the investigations.
What is it that I didnt have back then and how would it look like to give that to myself now? Help. To not be alone. Today I asked a friend if she would be my witness through these five days and receive what I might draw and write (which is more than these sentences here). I am fortunate she said yes!
The timing of this is perfect 🌷 I kept hitting my head against a wall for not knowing where to go next and through this practice with you have seen how far outside of myself I was looking for answers. Thank you for calling me in, and guiding in this process 🙏 This was a very powerful session and I'm grateful for this space you've created for us all Xavier
Thanks for this video, this helped me a lot. Really appreciate it
Well, this was an unexpected gift-thank you! I received your email this morning & I had just been saying last night that I am feeling stuck. I access a lot of inner emotions & work through processes like the prompts you gave us today, but I’ve never even thought to greet my stuckness. An immediate wave of anger filled me as I curiously met my stuck selves. They expressed not having a sense of belonging, feeling abandoned 1st by my brothers who cast me aside when I was excited to share new ideas and bring joy into our lives in shared creative acts. I realized that’s why I thrived in corporate America, even though it sucked there was a sense of belonging & everyone excited about new ideas & bringing them to fruition as a team. Showed me how I always help my romantic partners fulfill their dreams, without it being reciprocated, in hopes I’ll belong. My stuckness showed me how I long to belong. How I long to share my beautiful gifts. How I long to serve with a joyful heart & belong to other folks who are similar.
Thankyou so much for this Xavier. Up came a childhood when I was only given attention if I was sick. My stuckness relates to illness and not loving myself in all states of being. Very powerful
Every time I feel stuck, I’d rather push through, take control, find solutions and ways to change my situation. I feel anger, frustration, resentment. It’s tight in my body, can’t breathe or move. I do everything I can not to feel powerless.
Going back in the past, I was a child. I didn’t have a voice, or safety enough to express my truth, my choice, my desires, I repressed everything in order to make my family comfortable.
This part needs me to know that it doesn’t have to be hard, that I’m safe now but I need to create that safety with feelings rather than actions, by trusting that I always have a choice. I don’t need to prove it to myself it’s just a fact. That would make room because instead of powering through I could trust and surrender. If I considered this a given more than a challenge. If I truly knew it was available to me.
Thank you so much 🙏
Thank you for sharing this. Your insights are always so helpful and spark “aha” moments.
What if the stuckness comes from feeling torn between two (or more) “parts?” That seems to be the source of inner tension.
There’s a situation (with a somatic therapist) that’s been contributing to feelings of stuckness. The back and forth about whether to leave or stay can be confusing.
It seems (the stuckness) comes from (perceived) limbo and feeling disconnected from my internal compass/intuition.
The stuckness expresses itself in dissociation around eyes and throat. I go faster with everyday things. I don’t contact the dentist, although my body is twisted and feels like it might break in some point in the neck and that gets exposed to all the pressure. My pelvic floor is very open by the twist through my body. My shoulders are stiff. The eyes have very blurry eyesight, which is not normal for me. I distract myself with cell phone, thinking, doubting and doing anything else but contacting.
Tuning in to this I feel a holding pattern in the central line. Noticing “offness”. A teenage part? Thoughts about people. Thinking that I am not enough.
A moment in the past is when I went alone to the dentist at about nine or 10 years old. Many times and I forgot many of the appointments. I remember us particular place where I walked to the dentist. I see it from above, like I am dissociated.
What I needed back then that I didn’t have was a guide . Or more guides. Also understanding about how fears function, as well as mistakes being a normal human experience.
Today it will look like this for me: I support myself physically, helping myself release what I can. I start to act to receive help and guidance from anyone or anything that is appropriate for me at this time. I allow and hold the fear that will move through me in this process.
I tear up even by writing this. If I invite this part of me completely into my heart I feel warmth and relief streaming outwards in my body, into my feet and hands.
Thank you for this video. It helped with the extra connection. The same part finds it scary to write here, so I will help it see that we can be okay whatever happens ❤️
So grateful for this 🙏 helping me tremendously!
I wish more people realized how POWERFUL an intention can be,
(especially when it’s coupled with a little bit of effort: to bring about what we wish for, by taking just the next step)
Just me having made this intention when I saw your video about this challenge, that I wish to unleash my light, brought about in a wonderful unexpected way a free session with an incredible healer today @TkHolistic who helped me wash away attachment to suffering that was so embedded in my being & was the hindrance to my life force that would help me bring about the book I wish to birth. She also helped me connect with my ancestors in a beautiful new way instead of the shame I had carried from persecution.
Then i had a wonderful session that turned out WAY better than i could have dreamed- with Dr. Jaiya John - poet, author and healer, who helped me with priceless guidance on how i can be a better doula and help myself birth this book and bring it to life 💗 I gained tremendous insight on how I can gift myself and everyone around me with joy, and give myself the battery i was missing. It was incredibly nurturing and life-giving.
And I’m so grateful to you for providing the container for me, not just with this challenge, but also ELP has been my life source since 2020 and now being part of your Integrate program is helping me have tremendously beautiful shifts that I had not had before 💗🙏