You message is speaking to me today. Though my resistance has not been conscious & I could not give it a voice. About a year ago I said enough to the shadow career/s as you name it, and told the universe it was time and to get showing up for me.
It has been handing me all sorts of experiences since.
Things have not been abundant financially for a long while, because I have been listening and trusting this call. It's been tough to say the least.
Today it feels like I could finally be at the end of this cycle. I'm done.
It is time, and I am in deep surrender & grief today. It's a good phase. I surrender and truly let go to being of & in service.
I love what you said in your instagram post - "scared of the surrender that comes with embracing your hearts work". I don't feel I've been scared, but to truly listen & trust, is not what most are doing.
To follow my own calling & knowing. Others say & think - "why don't you just go get a job? A 'shadow career right?!'
Thank you for reading & for sharing your words & posts that I have been following for a while now. xx
I am in a place where my body just can’t do a job (can’t work in that structure anymore) that has no meaning for my heart. The degree of dissociation I lived during my 9 years in the workfield, how that disconnection felt now that I am aware of it, my mind would just snap or my body would collapse.
My inner resistance says:
- You don’t even have an income for 1 year, because you quit your job, bc you were burnout, and you want to start doing something that you have no idea if you are capable of, or how will you ever find clients.
- I know that you love to hold space for people and it is so meaningful for your heart, but you brought yourself in a situation where is not that easy to trust your voice, when there are so many unmeet needs here.
- 99% of the people you know would think you are crazy doing this and you should do a “normal” and safe activity for money.
- You were always afraid to communicate and connect with people, even though that was always your biggest desire. Maybe now you can do it with some people, but maybe you don’t have that charisma and strong skills to do it with a variety of people.
- It is just a nice dream you have in your mind. Give up
“Why would anyone trust me to help them heal and integrate, I have a hard time trusting my own gifts…”
This statement/question stuck with me. I am not sure how to implement what I find joy in as a “career” or way of life. And I always feel like I don’t know enough to be effective sharing or teaching. Of course there’s more layers, but I’ll start with those. I’m a Fitness Instructor, and Network Marketer at this time, and a OSHH (old school hip hop) artist. Soooo…I feel a bit all over the place as well.
I see you. The calling might not always show up as a career, but it inevitably shows up. My invitation would be to keep engaging with what sparks your heart even when it feels intimidating
thx 🙃🙃🙃🤗🤗🤗😘😘😘😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰
You message is speaking to me today. Though my resistance has not been conscious & I could not give it a voice. About a year ago I said enough to the shadow career/s as you name it, and told the universe it was time and to get showing up for me.
It has been handing me all sorts of experiences since.
Things have not been abundant financially for a long while, because I have been listening and trusting this call. It's been tough to say the least.
Today it feels like I could finally be at the end of this cycle. I'm done.
It is time, and I am in deep surrender & grief today. It's a good phase. I surrender and truly let go to being of & in service.
I love what you said in your instagram post - "scared of the surrender that comes with embracing your hearts work". I don't feel I've been scared, but to truly listen & trust, is not what most are doing.
To follow my own calling & knowing. Others say & think - "why don't you just go get a job? A 'shadow career right?!'
Thank you for reading & for sharing your words & posts that I have been following for a while now. xx
I am in a place where my body just can’t do a job (can’t work in that structure anymore) that has no meaning for my heart. The degree of dissociation I lived during my 9 years in the workfield, how that disconnection felt now that I am aware of it, my mind would just snap or my body would collapse.
My inner resistance says:
- You don’t even have an income for 1 year, because you quit your job, bc you were burnout, and you want to start doing something that you have no idea if you are capable of, or how will you ever find clients.
- I know that you love to hold space for people and it is so meaningful for your heart, but you brought yourself in a situation where is not that easy to trust your voice, when there are so many unmeet needs here.
- 99% of the people you know would think you are crazy doing this and you should do a “normal” and safe activity for money.
- You were always afraid to communicate and connect with people, even though that was always your biggest desire. Maybe now you can do it with some people, but maybe you don’t have that charisma and strong skills to do it with a variety of people.
- It is just a nice dream you have in your mind. Give up
Interesting. I'm very grateful that I have walked away from my 9-5 life completely and became a free spirit. 👍❤️
“Why would anyone trust me to help them heal and integrate, I have a hard time trusting my own gifts…”
This statement/question stuck with me. I am not sure how to implement what I find joy in as a “career” or way of life. And I always feel like I don’t know enough to be effective sharing or teaching. Of course there’s more layers, but I’ll start with those. I’m a Fitness Instructor, and Network Marketer at this time, and a OSHH (old school hip hop) artist. Soooo…I feel a bit all over the place as well.
I see you. The calling might not always show up as a career, but it inevitably shows up. My invitation would be to keep engaging with what sparks your heart even when it feels intimidating