The hidden key out of analysis paralysis
What healthy anger can teach us about decisiveness and shining unapologetically
A healthy relationship with your anger is to your ability to be decisive and soul led, what a spark plug is to a combustion engine. Without it, the engine does not start.
I know that first phrase is pretty loaded so please bear with me as we unpack it fully.
** Also, if you haven’t joined my private community the Embodied Light Project yet, doors are open for the autumn enrollment and close next week. This is the place where you come to unleash your heart, your voice, your mission and your light. Join ELP HERE.
Now back to the topic of this written piece…
There is a key principle that if you understand about anger, it has the potential to liberate you from all forms of decision paralysis.
Before I share it with you, let’s dive into what the process of decision making happens for most people.
Every time you need to make a decision, your brain immediately assesses what are the potential consequences of that choice.
Your survival brain is constantly scanning for threats. This happens so fast that we barely notice it.
When you have to make a new choice you’ve never made before, there is a tug-of-war that happens internally between potential “punishments” and potential rewards.
And when it feels like some of the outcomes of the choice you are about to make are emotionally overwhelming or risky, then your decision making system may just shuts down.
What this means is that:
Indecision is not always a lack of clarity. It is often a lack of capacity to handle the potential consequences that may come with making a choice you already know you need to make. Indecision is often about repressed inner fire.
The hidden cost of anger repression - Analysis paralysis
Over the years, I have facilitated thousands of one on one sessions. And there is a realization that has blown my mind.
Most of the clients who stayed the longest in analysis paralysis had one trait in common… Their anger was repressed.
It took me a while to see the connection, And when I did, it all started making sense.
But let me explain even more.
First, anger is NOT aggression or hostility. These are things we do with anger. They are not the true essence of anger.
Anger is a primordial fire. It is a fire you tap into when you need to establish boundaries and protect your personal code of honor. But that’s not all. There is more to it.
I like to think of healthy anger as the equivalent of the spark plug of a combustion engine. Without the spark, the engine does not start. This applies to your decision making engine too. Without a healthy connection to your anger, there is no ignition. There is very little capacity to handle the adversity that may come with decisions that seem risky.
What this means is that without a healthy connection to your anger, your ability to put things in motion in your life gets diminished. This applies especially to the choices your soul is inviting you to make. It applies to everything that carries a certain degree of uncertainty.
Healthy anger is the fire that allows you to look at a potential adverse consequence of making a choice that is aligned with your heart, and to say “fuck it” and do it anyway. It liberates you from indecision.
This is the reason why in my book Scars of Gold, there are entire sections and practices dedicated to expanding your emotional range and reclaiming a healthy relationship with anger. If you haven’t gotten your copy of scars of gold yet, then I suggest you do so through the button below.
(*PS: if you have started reading the book and love the message within, I would love to receive a review from you. This greatly supports the book. I you got your copy on amazon, you may leave a review below. Thank you in advance!)
Igniting soul inspired choices
When our anger is repressed, it does not disappear. Instead, it often mutates into self doubt, lack of self respect and self trust. Denying your anger creates analysis paralysis.
When properly channeled, anger is the initiatory spark that sets things in motion.
Think about it this way…
Your survival brain presents to you all the reasons why you shouldn’t move forward on choices that are soul inspired. All the fears emerge.
You start feeling the contraction that usually takes over your body when the freeze response emerges.
Instead of allowing it to take over, you source from your inner fire. You ignite the divine rebel inside of you that shouts:
“I am sick and tired of being submissive to my fears.”
Then you source from the base of your spine and start tapping into a fire that wasn’t allowed to be expressed for a while. A fire that wants to scream “that’s enough!”
A fire that wants to set a boundary with your fearful self.
That is the primordial spark of self liberation.
Igniting your light
Most people fear that if they reconnect with their anger it might burn their lives down. The truth is that anger properly integrated doesn’t just get you out of analysis paralysis, but it also helps your light burn bright.
I often think about my own personal journey of putting my work in the world.
Without a healthy relationship with my own anger, the hardships would’ve caused me to stop prematurely.
I wouldn’t have been able to write Scars of Gold. I would certainly not have been able to run my community for nearly five years now.
Anger keeps you in touch with your ability to express your voice, your authenticity and your light.
It is a key component of your capacity to deal with fears such as the fear of criticism, ridicule and even persecution.
Expanding your emotional capacity to shine bright - Your personal invitation to join ELP
When properly integrated, your anger gives you the spark you need to move, to decide, to shine and to take your mission and your impact out of the shadow.
Cultivating that spark isn’t just about a single insight. It’s about building the emotional capacity to keep your light burning, even when life tests you.
That’s the heart of The Embodied Light Project.
It’s the fellowship where we expand our emotional range, integrate the shadows that keep us playing small, and build the kind of inner safety that makes authentic expression possible. Together, we dissolve self-abandonment and anchor into a life where shining bright is no longer the exception, but the standard.
If you know it’s time to unleash more of your light, ELP is the place to do the work.
Join us here
In gratitude and reverence,
-Xavier
I’m what Martha Beck calls: the exploding doormat. I am so afraid of being mean (all that repression makes for a tremendous vulcano), that I keep it in, keep it in, and then explode at the wrong people or in the wrong way. I wait too long. Also, I indeed found my self doubt rise and self trust decline while my insecurities gain power. Right now it’s hard to make contact with that fire again, I’m so afraid I will either burnout or hurt someone else. (With words).
Thank you for this excellent and much needed treatment on anger, and the true dangers of suppressing rather than allowing it. I personally love Kali as a Goddess that embraces rage and uses its discernment and power to slay all that is false, limiting, fragmenting or distorting.