I’m what Martha Beck calls: the exploding doormat. I am so afraid of being mean (all that repression makes for a tremendous vulcano), that I keep it in, keep it in, and then explode at the wrong people or in the wrong way. I wait too long. Also, I indeed found my self doubt rise and self trust decline while my insecurities gain power. Right now it’s hard to make contact with that fire again, I’m so afraid I will either burnout or hurt someone else. (With words).
what a beautiful, vulnerable share, Eleonora. I'm sure Xavier will have thoughts on this too, but in my own healing work, I see the same thing he and you are seeing: the fear of explosion or harm is because one waits till explosion comes.
Think of a volcano. Those that live near volcanos like to see mini eruptions and periodic seismic activity. This means that it keeps releasing pressure and letting off steam. And that means a destructive eruption is less likely.
People get concerned when a volcano goes quiet. When there's no movement or activity. That means pressure is building under the surface and an explosion may be coming.
So the counterintuitive thing to consider is that by allowing healthy release of anger in small doses may be precisely what you need. That anger is an active signal looping in your system. By releasing in small doses, it can safely complete and exit.
Consider Rage Rooms where you can safely throw dish ware at a wall (surprisingly therapeutic!) or destroy furniture as a way to release anger. Primal screaming into a pillow. My favorite is to go on a drive through nature in my car and sing rage songs at the top of my lungs. The energy needs to move. Exercise, martial arts, and tribal dance can help too. Anger isn't dangerous. As Xavier points out, the suppression of it is. Lots of love!
Thank you for this excellent and much needed treatment on anger, and the true dangers of suppressing rather than allowing it. I personally love Kali as a Goddess that embraces rage and uses its discernment and power to slay all that is false, limiting, fragmenting or distorting.
I started seeing a therapist over the summer. It wasn't until I was 26 that I realized I was one of those people who had a problem with anger because I just couldn't express it. Somewhere in there it was pent up and my emotions were mostly joy and crying, but never anger. I'm working on that now.
I’m what Martha Beck calls: the exploding doormat. I am so afraid of being mean (all that repression makes for a tremendous vulcano), that I keep it in, keep it in, and then explode at the wrong people or in the wrong way. I wait too long. Also, I indeed found my self doubt rise and self trust decline while my insecurities gain power. Right now it’s hard to make contact with that fire again, I’m so afraid I will either burnout or hurt someone else. (With words).
what a beautiful, vulnerable share, Eleonora. I'm sure Xavier will have thoughts on this too, but in my own healing work, I see the same thing he and you are seeing: the fear of explosion or harm is because one waits till explosion comes.
Think of a volcano. Those that live near volcanos like to see mini eruptions and periodic seismic activity. This means that it keeps releasing pressure and letting off steam. And that means a destructive eruption is less likely.
People get concerned when a volcano goes quiet. When there's no movement or activity. That means pressure is building under the surface and an explosion may be coming.
So the counterintuitive thing to consider is that by allowing healthy release of anger in small doses may be precisely what you need. That anger is an active signal looping in your system. By releasing in small doses, it can safely complete and exit.
Consider Rage Rooms where you can safely throw dish ware at a wall (surprisingly therapeutic!) or destroy furniture as a way to release anger. Primal screaming into a pillow. My favorite is to go on a drive through nature in my car and sing rage songs at the top of my lungs. The energy needs to move. Exercise, martial arts, and tribal dance can help too. Anger isn't dangerous. As Xavier points out, the suppression of it is. Lots of love!
Thank you for this excellent and much needed treatment on anger, and the true dangers of suppressing rather than allowing it. I personally love Kali as a Goddess that embraces rage and uses its discernment and power to slay all that is false, limiting, fragmenting or distorting.
I started seeing a therapist over the summer. It wasn't until I was 26 that I realized I was one of those people who had a problem with anger because I just couldn't express it. Somewhere in there it was pent up and my emotions were mostly joy and crying, but never anger. I'm working on that now.