What they don't tell you about following your "bliss"

... And how you can do more of it.

There's a saying that has been popularized in many spiritual circles. And it sounds a lot like "follow your bliss".

I'll assume you've come across at least a version of that.

“Follow your bliss and your deepest joys”, they say. It just sounds like the perfect spiritual prescription, doesn't it?

I've always wondered what it truly means to follow one's bliss.

What is even "bliss"?

Does it mean to go after things that feel good?

It sounds so appealing and yet it can be very elusive.

Is bliss an emotion? And if not, what is it then?

Or is following your bliss more than that? A path that has been encoded at the core of who you are?

And how come the mere idea of following your bliss can also be so terrifying at times? At least this has been my experience in the past.

As 2025 starts, this theme has been at the core of many of my reflections and I’d like to share with you what I think often hides in the fine print of the prescription “follow your bliss”.

What bliss is not…

I've seen the saying "follow your bliss" being interpreted by many seekers as: "do what feels good".

And sometimes it sounds like the best excuse to give in to all our most hedonistic and instantly gratifying urges, even the ones that leave you with a bitter after taste. Can you relate?

I have certainly done that.

I've done many things that felt good and fun in the moment but that turned out to be escapism in disguise at best. They felt like avoidance and denial of responsibility, disguised as reaching for joy or an expanded state of being.

“follow your bliss” has a shadow. And that shadow looks a lot like self sabotaging hedonic behaviors.

One of the best examples I can offer is this. Imagine that you have a beautiful idea that you haven’t stopped thinking about for years. You truly want it, and it is also quite challenging. It requires time, commitment and taking bold actions. Yet you keep getting distracted by pursuing the feeling of fun and newness that comes from other ideas that deep down you know are not truly what you want.

Everything that shines is certainly not gold.

I know many creatives that often get stuck in that trap and never finish their masterpieces.

Here is the uncommon common sense:

“Everything that feels good is not bliss”.

I even want to argue that bliss is not an emotion, even though you can feel it.

What is bliss then?

I think bliss is a spiritual sense, or a sense of the soul. Just like touch or smell is to the physical body.

The same way your body gives you feedback through your sense of touch when your skin gets in contact with something, I believe your soul gives you feedback when you are in a state of coherence with it.

That state of coherence with your soul that will sometimes be felt as feelings of elation and elevation, that is bliss.

At least that is how I relate to it.

And as you can expect, with that there is a catch.

Many of the things that will actually lead you to true bliss are not that “comfortable” or even “feeling safe”.

The uncomfortable truth that many people are in denial of is that following your bliss is not always blissful.

The uncomfortable truth about following your bliss

I've done many things in my life that were greatly challenging in the process and that left me at the end with a feeling of inner alignment and satisfaction that I can only describe as 'bliss'.

One example is the book I am currently writing. I cannot count how many times it has kicked my ass. And I am sure it will do so many more times than I’d like.

Yet the feeling of knowing that I am actively surrendering to something my soul wants at its core, even despite the hardships, that is bliss.

Here is the key point I am attempting to make here:

Following your bliss will often humble you before it elevates you.

It will invite you to keep your pride in check, to soften your ego, and to release your attachment to the fact that you know what your bliss truly looks like.

I call it divine humbling.

Following your bliss will often ask of you to embrace a path that is seen as unreasonable by people around you, even the ones you love most.

With that, many fears may be stirred up, such as the fears of humiliation, alienation, loss or even persecution.

Do not be surprised if following your bliss invites you to be more intimate with your shadow.

The reality is that following your bliss is a path that is more like a mirror. It will often reflect your deepest insecurities so that you may transcend them and in that way, you make more room for true bliss.

Your bliss is a path that is unique to you. Because of that, it will require that you fully embrace your uniqueness even when it clashes at times with tribal mentality. It will require that you have thoughts of your own.

To drive the point even further, the level of emotional and somatic maturity that following your bliss will ask of you, is underrated. And embracing that work will liberate you. Truly!

That's the work we do in my private community the Embodied Light Project (ELP). Keep an eye out because the doors to the community will open soon and join the waitlist here.

Prompts

For now let me offer you the following prompts

• If I were to be fully honest with myself, deep down I know following my bliss looks like…

• The parts of me that resist following my bliss are…

• The needs that hide beneath that resistance are…

• One way I can meet these needs without hindering my ability to follow my bliss, is…

What is coming up for you?

The resistance that often emerges from attempting to follow your bliss, is not in the way, it is part of the bliss.

I wish you a year of bliss.

Thank you for reading.

— Xavier